"I dunno man, I don't really think of the future." -Nicholas Mark Butler.

I find the above quote to be nothing more than terrifying. To not think of what might happens in the future fills me with extreme dread.

I stand at what most people would recognise as the beginning of my adult life, at twenty years of age. Twenty, it seems such a small, young, naive and fragile age to be thrust into the 'real world'.

I suppose in reality there is little to complain about, my future is in most terms highly agreeable. I'm part of the western hemisphere, in a country of affluence. At the very worst there are numerous organisations that will aid me, even in spite of myself. To fail to live in my geographical location would be very hard and yet the future has such fear in it.

I suppose half, if not the whole reason, I have worries and doubts is that in personal terms I still feel as if I'm no different to my fifteen year old self, minus the unfortunate hair i had at the time. My hopes dreams and fears are not any different, but my optimism has dwindled, fueled in parts by the large debt acquired by going to University.

I lack direction, not being sure where to tread, ideas pulling me one way, realistic pessimism in other ways. Yet in all of this I find my situation to not be unique, far from it, most of my friends are in the same place, either willingly knowing this or not.

Perhaps the quote of Butler's is one that I should bear in mind, and attempt to live more in 'now' than in 'then'.