Twit-shit

I'm not really sure how I stand on social networking sites, I can't really say that I don't like them, but I'm far from 'in love' with them. I use facebook, in order to keep up with friends I otherwise couldn't but I would hardly describe myself as an avid user, my last update was after more than a month's worth of quiet. I could spend more time using the service, being a student with little more obligation than a dissertation, yet it never seems to me to present itself as an actual option.

As for services such as twitter, being a recent joinee (thank you Mr Danny Wallace for that word*), it seems that its a lot of fanfare over self indulgent, but then that could be due to my lacking of actual effort. Its not that I don't care about keeping in touch or connecting with people its more of the fact that I cherish solitude, being alone with just your own thoughts.

Is this a bad thing? Preferring the quiet of ones own mind rather than the tapping of annother's thought? Or is it a small section of me digging in my heels and resisting becoming one of everybody else. Would I prefer to be able to respond to the, now ubiquitous, question "Do you have 'x'? with a no, if only to satisfy a personal preference of side-stepping the norm.

I suppose, as is true of almost all things, the more you put in the more you get out. Thought at this time I am happy to be getting little out of it, if only to seem unique, as shallow as that may be.

*http://dannywallace.com/

"I dunno man, I don't really think of the future." -Nicholas Mark Butler.

I find the above quote to be nothing more than terrifying. To not think of what might happens in the future fills me with extreme dread.

I stand at what most people would recognise as the beginning of my adult life, at twenty years of age. Twenty, it seems such a small, young, naive and fragile age to be thrust into the 'real world'.

I suppose in reality there is little to complain about, my future is in most terms highly agreeable. I'm part of the western hemisphere, in a country of affluence. At the very worst there are numerous organisations that will aid me, even in spite of myself. To fail to live in my geographical location would be very hard and yet the future has such fear in it.

I suppose half, if not the whole reason, I have worries and doubts is that in personal terms I still feel as if I'm no different to my fifteen year old self, minus the unfortunate hair i had at the time. My hopes dreams and fears are not any different, but my optimism has dwindled, fueled in parts by the large debt acquired by going to University.

I lack direction, not being sure where to tread, ideas pulling me one way, realistic pessimism in other ways. Yet in all of this I find my situation to not be unique, far from it, most of my friends are in the same place, either willingly knowing this or not.

Perhaps the quote of Butler's is one that I should bear in mind, and attempt to live more in 'now' than in 'then'.